Denial beard is gone. Now I just look like a potato.


Sorry about the blur. I have hand tremors and struggle to hold things still.

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Down the Rabbit Hole

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I've spoken a lot about some of my struggles as a public transwoman, but I haven't really touched much on my interactions with the public. I have a unique opportunity to do that tonight, because today I was sexually assaulted. That word has a lot of meanings. It conjures images of rape and heinous bodily harm, but those aren't its only meanings. Rape is sexual assault, but sexual assault is not just  rape. So I was at Town Hall station at about 11:30am this morning. I was coming up the escalator from the platform when I felt the back of somebody's hand against my buttocks. I turned around to see a man, maybe sixty or so, moving back down a step like he had moved for somebody, but there was nobody behind him, at least  not close enough to warrant him moving towards me. Did I just feel what I thought I felt? The way he was acting seemed like he  thought he'd just done it accidentally. Don't get me wrong; accidental bodily contact happens a lot. In elevato...
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Sorry I haven't updated in a while.

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So I keep hearing that I need to update more often, and they're right. I'm hoping to spend a little time every day writing in this blog. It might only be a short entry -- a quote or a song -- but it'll be an entry at least. Things at the moment are... haywire. I have to move again, for financial reasons that I'd rather not get into too deeply, and I'm moving into crisis housing. Long story short, I thought I'd be able to afford this place but because of reasons that I wasn't aware of at the time, that won't be possible. It was going to be a tight fit to begin with but something happened that further decreased my funds and... I just can't afford to live here anymore. It's a real tragedy because I love it here. I love the people I live with, I love the dog, I love the neighbour's dog, but I have to make the call. I can live under the red line or I can cut my losses and start over. I've only been here three weeks so it's not suc...
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It's been a while, hasn't it? There's a lot to tell.

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Went to the Yes rally (it's not about Optus) Been a while since I updated, hasn't it? There's actually a lot to say, I just haven't known how to say it. I'm not sure if I've said this here already, but my parents and I are no longer speaking. It's been a long time coming. I don't know if it's going to be a permanent thing or just a temporary thing, but... with the way things are, there's no place for them in my life. This is about more than just my transition, although they've made their position perfectly clear on that. It started with my new therapist (gods bless that man!) He told me that a lot of what I was saying about my parents, specifically my mother, was giving him red flags about abuse. In a previous post, when talking about things that were happening between us, I urged the reader to stay neutral. I'm now backtracking that. I have been apologising for the way my parents have treated me for as long as I can remember...
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