Update #1

My everyday look right now.
I haven't updated in a while.

Sorry about that.

It's just over a week now from D-Day and I'm aware of just how fast time is slipping away. Cinnamon (my tortoiseshell) is gone now. The guy who came to get her seemed to know how to handle a scared kitten, which was miles above the family that wound up scaring the shit out of her. It's really not that strange; she's spent 90% of her life with me and one other cat in my apartment. She's living with a family now, and it's another reminder that things are ending here.

I'm... coping. I think. I'm still pretty scared but I'm fairly certain I can make this work, even if only for a little while. I'll be staying at my parents' house for a while (euuuuuggghh) before I fly out so I can focus on the apartment. It occurred to me that when I leave Mackay, it will probably be the last time I see the family mutt, too. He hasn't been well, and it might not be long before he dies.

Everything's changing. Mum sold the Camry she'd owned pretty much the whole time she's lived here. The area next to the Andergrove Woolworths has been cleared to build a Coles, and there's a tobacconist in the Woolies complex. Plus, mum and dad are talking about getting a puppy, so there's going to be a family pet that I may not meet for a long time.

I feel like the time to leave is now. I'm almost sorry because I found a really good salon that killed my accidental mullet. It's still plenty long, but I can tame the sides with road sealant (or, wax) and the top just needs a bit of mousse. I've also been wearing my makeup daily, which is pretty big, though nothing more than the picture above. I've learned to work with foundation and concealer and I don't think the outcome is too obvious (maybe I'm wrong?).

Sydney is going to open a lot of doors for me. I'm going to try to start the process on HRT as soon as I get down there. I'm scared but I really just want things to move forward. I'm so sick of this town; it's like living in limbo. Every time I move here my life just stagnates. I can't do it anymore, and I'm afraid that if I stay any longer it'll beat me into submission.

HRT will be the real beginning of things. I might even look into laser beard removal when I get down, so it'll be nice to not have to drag surgical steel razor blades across my face every day just to look decent. I'm also horrible for cuts and razor burn but, well, thank fuck for concealer.

So yeah, things are going okay. I feel like I'm sitting in a kayak close to a waterfall but... I'm trying to be positive.

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